Okay, so lack of posting.. no excuse I know but I have had a really rough semester. I am not really into blogging all that much.. at least I haven't really been this semester, not sure why. With that being said, I will write a little update here. Haven't reached the weight goal, or even really tapped into it. I have had a really rough semester and I am just happy I am getting back on track. With a change of medicine and a little bit better sleep schedule, seeing Trevor, going to Florida with mom, and going to counseling weekly/every other.. it's helped tremendously. Sadly though, i haven't been home since February and here it is April. Weird right? It just seems like there is always something every weekend and for a good while I was just honestly too exhausted.
I really feel like things are on the mend in my life. Counseling has honestly done a lot for me, which I never thought I would say. I have only been probably five times, but I really like my counselor. He is great and specializes in trauma. Although I am not going to go into details, my next session we are going to start on learning how to get past what happened and work towards my goal, which is to forgive. It's what I feel is necessary to be able to focus on the next part of my life. I have been learning a lot with each session, mostly about myself. It has been really interesting to learn about myself though. I honestly can say there were a lot of things that I was not aware of that I did and the way I think. Scott, my counselor, would be proud of me I am crying right now, listening to George Strait, and I don't feel bad about it..or ashamed. He tells me that it is sad that I feel that I cannot cry without me being upset from something previously. I am working on that, but it is definitely a struggle for me. He has given me a lot of reading about one's critical self. Next session, he is giving me more reading on how I am going to go through the next process of my counseling, which I am interested to see.
Subject jumping. Macbook pro fell off my lofted bed while I was sleeping.. $380 in damage, thank youuu genuis bar and applecare for a freebie though :) And finally got back in the technology world and got me an iPhone 4, so far I love! I have been syncing it with my laptop and it's so handy, and been making ringtones on Garage Band. It is definitely helpful to have both apple products. I will never go back to having something different that's for sure!
It was great to see Trevor over spring break, but we kind of fought some and I was upset half of the time. I mentioned that during counseling and got some insight on that, which was helpful. We also learned what we both needed to work on, which was helpful. I didn't even want to be upset when I was there, which is really frustrating that I was. Everything is great now though.. I honestly feel like things get better everyday. Trevor is fantastic and I can honestly say that I am in love with him. It's weird sometimes to think that I care so much about a person that I have been apart from majority of the time.. but he is still there for me. He may not always know the right things to say or what to do, but for some reason I just feel ten times better that he tries. I am very thankful. I couldn't ask for someone better. I am already counting down the days until I see him again, almost 42 days actually! Need to work on getting travel arrangements again. I decided to see him in May instead of June so I can spend more time with Mom since she will be off in June and to see Lindsey and Miss Emma play ball. Plus, I am getting super antsy and want to see my boy..especially with things being just better and more stable in my life now.
Okay, I don't know why I am typing still.. I got on a roll I guess, lol. I am going to shower I guess, it's shower night.. ha. then going to come back and watch me some army wives and hop in bed and chillax! Trevor disappeared, so guess not talking to him. He frustrates me greatly sometimes lol.
-Ali Kate
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